A Chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar. Spielberg suddenly slapped the Chinese..
Chinese: why?
Spielberg: Because you bombed Pearl Harbor! My father died there!
Chinese: But I am Chinese, not Japanese.
Spielberg: You fool! Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, you are all the same.
The Chines punched Spielberg.
Spielberg: Why did you do that?
Chinese: That's for sinking the Titanic.
Spielberg: But Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, stupid!
Chinese: Iceberg, carlsberg, spielberg, you are all the same!!
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FLYING BLONDE
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn
to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to
instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the
basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet,
she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so
beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was
to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and
was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about
half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know!
Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting
to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned
off the big fan!"
to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to
instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the
basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet,
she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so
beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was
to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and
was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about
half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know!
Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting
to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned
off the big fan!"
SANTA AND BANTA
Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this..
BANK ROBBERY
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Bottles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day's Headline: Blood Bank looted.
Instead of cash they found Bottles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day's Headline: Blood Bank looted.
BLONDE DRIVING ON HIGHWAY
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."
Blonde : "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
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